Tuesday, 30 June 2009

Bloody typical...

So as many of my twitter followers know, I'm in Florida at the minute. This obviously meant a few (3 to be exact) flights and also a lot of sitting around checking boys out in airports. First flight was Belfast city to Heathrow and I was all cosy in my crappy seat when babe of all babes wanders down the aisle. Before I even knew what was happening, he was squeezing into the seat in front of me, beside my mum. She then begins to embarrass me, by trying to whisper that I should swap seats with her...emmm, no! Being a crazy plane lady, she starts nattering away to him! Turns out, he's Louis Walsh's business manager and is flying to London for X Factor rehearsals. Mum told him about my job in the ticketing business and he happens to know my boss and we have a few mutual acquaintances in the promotions companies! Alas, as always happens, he disappears down the Jetway, never to be seen again. Unless Cathy takes me to see Louis someday...

And as for Matt, in the words of @dinglesurf, Matt is a douche. It definitely was a case of him not being interested and telling me porkies. Note to all boys: this is NOT cool. Grow some balls and tell the truth. But I'm just going to delete him (from my phone), along with all the other losers...

I mentioned earlier that I was in Florida, and that my mum has a habit of embarrassing me, so thankfully American Boys don't really do it for me. I find they all look pretty much identical and are a little too wholesome for me! So for now, I'll enjoy baking by the pool and might find someone back home to laugh at my white bits ;)

Wednesday, 17 June 2009


Well, this is my new blog! I decided it was about time I got it because i think my twitter followers are sick of me constantly talking about men and my quest to find them. The name of the blog has to be credited to @austinslide, he now owns a 5% equity share in Lopsi Inc. so when I make my first million as a blogger, he'll be in on it! I have considered a boy-based blog before, mainly because they irritate me so much sometimes I like to have somewhere to vent my frustration! At this stage, i'm finding my feet so please excuse any erratic thought processes that may follow...

I guess the best place to start is the start! I've had the grand total of 5 boyfriends. The first, when I was about 11, he was 10 (toyboy ;) ) and looking back, it was weird. We went on dates to the cinema, and for dinner (though his parents did come too, hahah). It was probably because my sister was dating his older brother!

The next boyf was when I was about 15. It lasted a year and a half, until I decided that it wasn't happy being tied down so young! It all worked out for the best though- he is the only one of my exes i'd class as a friend. He's the guy i'll call when I do something stupid and need a shoulder to cry on.

Number three was a bit of a twat. Now dating a devil bitch from hell (no kidding), I was silly enough to let him walk all over me and when I finally had enough, it ended over text. The icing on the cake was me showing up at his house and throwing all of his stuff he'd left at my house at him in his driveway!!

Next was also a twat. Again, I was a doormat. He didn't like my best friend, and my family weren't best keen on him. He didn't know my friends, and the few occasions we went out together we'd get drunk and fight. We finally split after Christmas, but in my head, it was over long before that!

Finally, there was Mark. Shortest "relationship" i've ever had. This one was hilarious. He was friend of a friend who moved things really quickly. We had bf/gf labels after our first date (which he brought his little brother on, no kidding) but he ditched me exactly 2 weeks after *sniff* because... he had tried to fall in love with me and couldn't so it wasn't going to work. A story so absurd, I couldn't even have made it up! A lucky escape methinks...

I'm very aware that any men out there who read this blog may think i'm a complete nut, and I freely admit that I am a little kooky, but I have to stress that as much as i'd love a rich sugar daddy who'd treat me like a princess and buy me expensive gifts it really isn't important to me. I also don't actively seek idiots, although it does seem like I do!

Recently, fellows have been thin on the ground. I always get hit on by old, unattractive men and don't know why. Either that or the occasional drunk chav who thinks I look like Sarah from Girls Aloud- I so do not- only similarity is short blonde hair!

Although i've always toyed with the idea of a blog to document my crazy nights, savage hangovers and whatever men are on the scene, it only came into practise this week. Last Friday night, I met the prettiest boy who gave me one of those kisses that made my legs go all wobbly. He truly knocked me for six! Unfortumately, boys being boys have some ridiculous notion in their wee heads that women want false promises that raise hopes. When I left the bar (and the boy) on Friday night, there was talk of drinks. Last time we spoke, the drinks plan seemed to have fizzled out. So either he is dead chilled and will get in touch or he is doing typical man thing and telling porkies.

I'm quite shy when I meet someone new, or i'm in a strange situation but i'm a believer in taking the bull by the horns when texts are involved. I hate nothing more than being in limbo, i'd far rather there was no game playing (the text game in particular sucks) and i'd far rather send a text that gets to the point, and clears things up wether it's what I want to hear or not. As for Friday night guy, as hot as he is, if he's going to faff about...i'll leave him to it!