Happy Anniversary!

Well folks, Boxing Day marks a year of singledom. Last year, even though ditching my boyf was not particularly festive, it was a weight lifted from my shoulders! It's not bothering me at all that i've been single for a year either- I've done lots of things (some of which Lynne thinks I shouldn't have done because now i've no need for a boyf) like changing bulbs in my car and going out lots with people I've met on twitter (had some AH MAZIN nights with @noberts and @ladybolan) that I probably wouldn't have done if I wasn't single. With everything that happened in the run up to Christmas, i'm glad I was single- my mum needed lots of help in the house and a Mr would have been a distraction, although I would have welcomed it at times. It also worked well because I simply didn't have the time to buy many gifts (thank god for secret santas!).

Tonight, I'll be sitting infront of the fire with mum and Chris, probably making a few cocktails and stopping mum from swiping my cider. Everyone is away out but i'm not a boxing night fan so I'll head for a few drinks tomorrow night.

Merry Christmas and I hope all my readers, twitter followers and IRL friends have a great festive period and that 2010 brings lots of good things.

Nothin to see here folks...

...keep on walkin.

Just decided to post to give me something to do, and i guess to pat myself on the back for a successful NoVember. After tearing it up too many weekends, getting drunk, walking up with the dread (or worse), suffering the Sunday Blues, Miserable Mondays, Teary Tuesdays and Woeful Wednesdays I took November off. I had No Vember. I cleared my diary as best i could and spent saturday nights infront of the box. I had a work function to go to so I went and didn't have a great time on one of the Saturday nights. The band were pretty hot but the average age of people there was 65 so I was hardly on the pull so it all worked out well.

Following week, going out plans fell through and I rejoyced. A busy night in the Odyssey then home to bed, Sunday was spent in Ikea (not as horrific as usual) then another weeks work. This weekend wasn't quite so good. A lovely joyrider nicked a car and managed to crash into mine during the night. Mega damage, needs new panels etc and makes an awful noise when going over any bumps so I'll need to be heading to work nice and slowly this week.

Impending, I have a weekend (and them some) in Manchester, seeing the sights and having mega nights out (and too many bus journeys for my liking). Following weekend is Saturday night out with work people from the Odyssey. The next week is graduation, that weekend is magazine work night out, week after is xmas. So all is mental.

All a little too mental, and despite Xmas being a great time to be one half of a couple, i'm still perfectly happy without a beard by my side.

Over and out.

All change

Well boys and girls, I had an epiphany. Driving to work every morning means I have pleanty of time to chill, sing, laugh along to the radio, wish death on Chris Moyles (only sometimes) but a few days ago I recalled one of my 'mad nights with beards'. Of late, i've been going out with a few gals off twitter. (to the twitter world- ya'll know who they are; rest of world- don't worry, if I was going to be killed, i'm sure they could have done it already). We have a thing about boys with beards (now referred to as beard for short) and we like to drink waaay too much vod and then we tweet the next day to compare hangovers.

These mad nights, where I approach strangers asking 'Have you ever been on TV? No, fancy being on a dating show' and other ridiculous lines has reaffirmed the fact that i'm far too young to be settled down. Yes, I may yearn for a beard to snuggle on the sofa or fetch me KFC when i'm hanging, but for the mean time i'm more than happy to spend all my monies on booze and recall the nights of fun that I would only be able to go if I was single. And thank god I am, because it's an awful lot of fun!

My epiphany was given a helping hand by a guy. Well two guys. One is lovely and ever so nice but i'm just not that into him. The other. Well. He started off dead nice, all vay good on paper. Then he got really needy. And there is nothing like that to put a girl off. He even went as far as texting a mutual friend when I didn't reply to a text. He also sends those irritating texts that are looking for reassurance and I don't know him well enough to be his shoulder. And the final, and most worrying thing is the fact that we don't flirt at all. There is no funny banter, all texts are pretty blunt and to the point, and generally end with him moaning about something (yes, ok, I am a whinge but seriously, this dude is waaay worse than me). He also reminds me of my ex Mark. And he was a dick so guilty by association. Even 30% discount in one of my fav shops ever isn't enough to persuade me to reply to his text.

I've also just realised that this blog has now changed from a blog whining about me not having a guy to whining about the guys I do have. Oops. Anyway, this weekend is Halloween and i'm out with @noberts and David so we'll tear it up and see what shit goes down. boo ya.

I can't believe I forgot about this!

Ok, some of my twitter followers probably know a little of this story but here it is, more for my records than anything...
Once upon a time, two girls went out for birthday drinks. Rebecca and I hit the House Bar in Stramillis and had planned to go out dancing after a cocktail. We arrived and settled in to seats at the bar (never a good idea) and we flirted with the barmen and got them to make custom cocktails (my key lime martini is better) and renaming others- who wants to drink a mangopolitan? Mangotini's are far more fun. Since it was Rebecca's birthday we were counting down the minutes until she turned 23 and making a fair bit of noise! After a while flirting with Chris (who's a doctor) the owner of the bar (Christine Bleakley's ex) came over to us and sat next to me. We were chatting away about how we both did PR and I thought he was an idiot for trying to make the Warehouse (on Boucher Rd) successful- his comeback? Well Tomb Street was out of city centre when I opened milk. No amount of me saying that I lived near the Boucher Rd and wouldn't step foot in it alone in the dark would change his mind, more fool him.

Shortly after the clock struck midnight, we reached for our mangotini's only to find Champagne and strawberries in their place. And not the type of champagne that tastes like cat pee, proper Veuve Clicquot and it was tasty. It was all like something from a James Bond movie- very slick and a little odd now that I look back.

So we drank our champers while the owner drank a beer. After a while, the bar closed and we stayed put. Next thing I knew, I was heading out the back door of the bar into a black range rover (such a cliche) and this dude (who btw, I can't remember his name) said he'd take us home. So Rebecca and I had drank too many cocktails and champagne and he was sober. At this stage I should have probably realised it was all a little odd. He ended up driving us to his house, somewhere near forestside. Nice house, all gated, 3 cars in driveway including a Porche. We went inside and started snooping. It was like an episode of Come Dine With Me. We were in his closet, in his bathroom, his fridge. EVERYWHERE!

Next thing I remember is stomping down the stairs and demanding that he calls two taxi's (because we live so far apart). No less than 4 taxi's trying to get into his gated house met us, me outside yelling at him to open the gates :S Next day, I realise he's really tried it on with Rebecca and we most definitely had a lucky escape.

Creepy creepy dude, bringing two drunk girls home after plying them with booze and him remaining sober then trying it on. I don't know if we can ever go back to the House, but Chris the doctor was lovely and worth another visit, so we shall see.

My google ads

After my business partner Austin told me to get some google ads and start makin some dosh, I decided I better listen to him. I have only just looked at the ads. The first one is for toy boys. No thank you google. Bad experiences with those. The next one I saw was over 40's dating, the rest were for people looking for a girlfriend. Why are there no ad's for people like me. i.e. young and looking for men? Sort it out. I should be your target audience, I have a blog about being single for crying out loud...

Help!

The man situation hasn't improved any of late. There are a few guys who i'm having text with but tbh, the fact that i'm just having text shows how uninterested I am. Harsh, but true. I am a dead flirty person, I can't help it, I think it's fun and I think i'm pretty good at it but at times like this, I wish I wasn't. It also doesn't help that i'm flirty with the wrong people. I find it easier flirting with the ones who I don't need to make as much effort with, either they're giving me the come on, or I just don't care what happens. It's a personality trait I don't like much, and the worst part is that I don't really notice it happening until it's too late.

I met a guy a few weeks ago and he is oh my god hot. Like the hottest creature I think i've ever ever seen and I think we're getting on well, it's mainly a text thing though- I don't know when I'll see him again but it is fun, and I get stomach leaps when he does text. There is a huge problem though- I appear to have (accidentally) attracted the attention of one of his pals. I don't know if it's paranoia or what, but I have the feeling they've been talking about me, and the hot hot hot guy has maybe stepped back a little. When I talk to the pal, I don't think it is particularly flirty but he goes a little further with things.

So what do I do? I can't tell either of them anything- there have been no kisses or anything and I don't know if either of them are really interested, or if it's just me being a fool. Either way, I don't want to piss hot guy off but I need to let him know in a subtle way that his mate is barking up the wrong tree without saying something like 'oh i flirt with everyone' which would totally give hot guy the wrong idea. eeek. What a pickle.

I need to shake off the pal (in the nicest possible way). Is the best approach to tell him about hot guy? Or tell hot guy about the pal? I guess for all I know, the pair of them read this and recognise themselves and we'll all live happily ever after. Or, since this is me, we'll all fall out and hate each other... but i hope not.

I can't be arsed...

I can't be arsed with a lot of things right now, number one is writing a title for these shitty posts. Number two is being single with cats (in all seriousness, if anyone wants two cats, email me. I'm pissed off no end with the sight of the two wee fuckers). Number three is the pitying looks I got last night.

I was at a wedding of a colleague last night, we were all sitting around in our finery and the only blokes who showed any interest were either pissed as farts, country bumpkins, old men who were hiding from their wives or the ones with really awful hair. It really was enough to go on a wrist slitting frenzy. To make matters worse, my boss and my sister spent far too long telling me that I as never going to meet someone in a bar and that they'd hate to be in my situation. Well I don't like it much either. It's hardly what i'd call fun, hence the blog. I might take the piss out of the whole thing, but as much as this may make me sound like a desperado I am actively trying not to be a single loser for all eternity. So thanks for your words of wisdom but they are anything but helpful. Maybe in 10 years it will be a right laugh to look back at this blog and think how hilarious it was.

Bloody typical. Again.

So I returned safely from my holiday, was lovely having all that time away but I did feel like I had a case of cabin fever. America is so big, and Florida so hot that you literally cannot go anywhere without a car. And since i'm only 22, I need special car hire so I didn't get to drive anywhere. I was relying on what the fam wanted to do, and I hate that. Plus, since it was so hot, I couldn't even walk anywhere! Anyway, it's not nice at all to be home. I'd sell my left kidney to go back.

While I was away there was a little drama. Lets not go into details, but I have another wing-woman. So i took her out for a quiet drink on Friday. I was told there was another pal meeting us in the bar with two american friends. I got dead excited at this, since it'd make me feel at home! At this point i'd like to mention the negative man love in America for me. I saw a handful of reasonablly hot guys, one did ask me out for drinks but I wasn't going boozing with a stranger. So one guy on friday night was a lovely guy who knew the place in Atlanta that my american family are from, the other one was a cutie from Tampa, about 40 mins from where I stayed. Long story short, I kissed cute american boy and had lots of fun but how bloody annoying that I find an american boy when we're both in Belfast. He's travelling the world and is in London and Dublin for a while. Then who knows where he's going. He may go back to the States, he may hang around here. But either way, it's not likely that I will see him again, but my fingers are crossed.

Bloody typical...

So as many of my twitter followers know, I'm in Florida at the minute. This obviously meant a few (3 to be exact) flights and also a lot of sitting around checking boys out in airports. First flight was Belfast city to Heathrow and I was all cosy in my crappy seat when babe of all babes wanders down the aisle. Before I even knew what was happening, he was squeezing into the seat in front of me, beside my mum. She then begins to embarrass me, by trying to whisper that I should swap seats with her...emmm, no! Being a crazy plane lady, she starts nattering away to him! Turns out, he's Louis Walsh's business manager and is flying to London for X Factor rehearsals. Mum told him about my job in the ticketing business and he happens to know my boss and we have a few mutual acquaintances in the promotions companies! Alas, as always happens, he disappears down the Jetway, never to be seen again. Unless Cathy takes me to see Louis someday...

And as for Matt, in the words of @dinglesurf, Matt is a douche. It definitely was a case of him not being interested and telling me porkies. Note to all boys: this is NOT cool. Grow some balls and tell the truth. But I'm just going to delete him (from my phone), along with all the other losers...

I mentioned earlier that I was in Florida, and that my mum has a habit of embarrassing me, so thankfully American Boys don't really do it for me. I find they all look pretty much identical and are a little too wholesome for me! So for now, I'll enjoy baking by the pool and might find someone back home to laugh at my white bits ;)

Hi!

Well, this is my new blog! I decided it was about time I got it because i think my twitter followers are sick of me constantly talking about men and my quest to find them. The name of the blog has to be credited to @austinslide, he now owns a 5% equity share in Lopsi Inc. so when I make my first million as a blogger, he'll be in on it! I have considered a boy-based blog before, mainly because they irritate me so much sometimes I like to have somewhere to vent my frustration! At this stage, i'm finding my feet so please excuse any erratic thought processes that may follow...


I guess the best place to start is the start! I've had the grand total of 5 boyfriends. The first, when I was about 11, he was 10 (toyboy ;) ) and looking back, it was weird. We went on dates to the cinema, and for dinner (though his parents did come too, hahah). It was probably because my sister was dating his older brother!

The next boyf was when I was about 15. It lasted a year and a half, until I decided that it wasn't happy being tied down so young! It all worked out for the best though- he is the only one of my exes i'd class as a friend. He's the guy i'll call when I do something stupid and need a shoulder to cry on.

Number three was a bit of a twat. Now dating a devil bitch from hell (no kidding), I was silly enough to let him walk all over me and when I finally had enough, it ended over text. The icing on the cake was me showing up at his house and throwing all of his stuff he'd left at my house at him in his driveway!!

Next was also a twat. Again, I was a doormat. He didn't like my best friend, and my family weren't best keen on him. He didn't know my friends, and the few occasions we went out together we'd get drunk and fight. We finally split after Christmas, but in my head, it was over long before that!

Finally, there was Mark. Shortest "relationship" i've ever had. This one was hilarious. He was friend of a friend who moved things really quickly. We had bf/gf labels after our first date (which he brought his little brother on, no kidding) but he ditched me exactly 2 weeks after *sniff* because... he had tried to fall in love with me and couldn't so it wasn't going to work. A story so absurd, I couldn't even have made it up! A lucky escape methinks...

I'm very aware that any men out there who read this blog may think i'm a complete nut, and I freely admit that I am a little kooky, but I have to stress that as much as i'd love a rich sugar daddy who'd treat me like a princess and buy me expensive gifts it really isn't important to me. I also don't actively seek idiots, although it does seem like I do!

Recently, fellows have been thin on the ground. I always get hit on by old, unattractive men and don't know why. Either that or the occasional drunk chav who thinks I look like Sarah from Girls Aloud- I so do not- only similarity is short blonde hair!

Although i've always toyed with the idea of a blog to document my crazy nights, savage hangovers and whatever men are on the scene, it only came into practise this week. Last Friday night, I met the prettiest boy who gave me one of those kisses that made my legs go all wobbly. He truly knocked me for six! Unfortumately, boys being boys have some ridiculous notion in their wee heads that women want false promises that raise hopes. When I left the bar (and the boy) on Friday night, there was talk of drinks. Last time we spoke, the drinks plan seemed to have fizzled out. So either he is dead chilled and will get in touch or he is doing typical man thing and telling porkies.

I'm quite shy when I meet someone new, or i'm in a strange situation but i'm a believer in taking the bull by the horns when texts are involved. I hate nothing more than being in limbo, i'd far rather there was no game playing (the text game in particular sucks) and i'd far rather send a text that gets to the point, and clears things up wether it's what I want to hear or not. As for Friday night guy, as hot as he is, if he's going to faff about...i'll leave him to it!