Walk in the park

Sorry this is also off topic. Deal wiv it, alreet.

A few weeks ago, I started work with Aware. A few weeks later, somehow I said I'd do the Bigfoot walk. I still don't remember the conversation where my arm was twisted into doing it, clearly I was drugged and forced to sign up. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Anyone who knows me will know that I'm a lazysaurus. I walk. Around topshop, or to the kettle. Occasionally I have been known to walk to the shop. So why i'd sign up to do 18 miles is beyond me. To give you some context, 18 miles is Belfast to Lurgan, Coleraine to Ballycastle or in my case, it'll be Armagh to Dungannon.

I've been doing some training, the five milers are easy enough now, I finish feeling ok and last week I did eight miles, with only one stop for a brownie and some milk in St. Georges. Returning home with a tummy full of chocolate, I felt goooood. Exhausted and I spent the day asleep; but so good!

I did ten miles yesterday. I never thought I'd ever walk to Tesco Newtownbreda. But I did. And walked past it. And past Forestside. And into town. And home again. About two miles in, I started to feel it. I wasn't in a great frame of mind; like a plank, i'd managed to sleep in. I had breakkie and got myself sorted, but I wasn't rearing to go. So I struggled from the off. It's hard walking a route you usually drive, and know how far it is in a car. Combine that with the tell tale rubbing of shoes and a HUGE blister, made the first five miles hell. Over compensating for my sore foot (the co-op sticky plasters just weren't good enough) made my hips ache to the point where I was sure I was going to dislocate one. It's not natural to feel that much pain. I knew Laura was struggling too, we couldn't even talk to each other, except to shout profanitites which wasn't making it any easier for either of us.

The walk down the Ormeau road was easier, downhill and straight into a rest stop. We knew what was waiting for us. Still felt like a million miles. On the way home, I had to do a last minute detour down the Donegall Rd. I just felt I couldn't face the walk along the Lisburn Road to my house, knowing how far away we were. The detour added some distance but helped my santy. I'm no fittie, but it doesn't take it out of me too much physically to walk long distances- I do plenty of eating to make sure i've the energy for it. I've had problems with my knees for years and that makes it tough, the mental thing I didn't think I'd struggle so badly with and the general aches and pains when you walk so far just get worse and worse. I'm glad we're getting medical backup on Walk Day.

We made it home and I collapsed outside the house, unable to move. I took my shoes off and lay and cried for a while. The realisation that if it had been 'race day' I wouldn't have made it really knocked me for six. Knowing that i've already been sponsored lots is going to help me on the day. Laura is good- I don't want to let her down, but I really don't want to blog after the event and say I didn't make it. It's knowing I can't back out of it that really reminds me why i'm doing this. It's for the one in four who experience depression, and for the families of the people left behind after suicide, and to stop those people on the brink of suicide. Depression is implicated in 75% of all suicides, it really does kill people. In 2010, this shouldn't be happening.
Please sponsor me if you can. Everything helps me meet my target. www.justgiving.com/lorraineanthony