This Week is a biggie.

This week is a big'un for wee Flops. First off, I've moved house. Stay in touch for your invite for the guided tour and the imminent housewarming. I've lived with big bro for 4years now and it was time to fly the coop!

Next is a mad week in work. I *think* I have two full days out of the office. I am really busy and don't have time to train but it has to be done so I'll suck it up!

This week is also the anniversary of my dads death. The emotions that surround it baffle me. 18 years is a long time, and I'm completely adapted. My momma did a friggin brill job of raising us and I don't miss him as such. I do have all the crazy feelings of anger and resentment but then the reality of how desperate he must have been comes back to me and I feel sorreh for him. One of my training days is mental health first aid and there will be sections on suicide which I'll struggle with but I need to know all I can about it to help understand him.

Finally, I'm walking 18miles for charidee. I'm petrified. Scared I won't finish, scared I'll hurt myself (more), scared I'll let Laura (and everyone who sponsored me) down. But I'm gonna give it everything. My charity is Aware and even if I didn't work for them, they would have got it.

18 miles doesn't seem that long when you say it quickly, but it is FAR! I struggle most with aches and pains. I hurt my knees when I was growing up- the groove my kneecap sits in isn't deep enough so my kneecaps are very mobile. It means the can slide out of the groove a little (not full dislocation, called Subluxing patellas- it's quicker and less painful than full dislocation and it pops back into place itself!) and it's given me gip for ages. I also have muscle imbalances in my left side. My knee turns inwards, there is a muscle that’s really tight and a muscle in my butt that's not strong enough, so all combined, when I walk around 9 miles I start to fatigue and muscles get inflamed as they rub over each other. The more tired I get, the more my pelvis drops making the pain worse. Trying to think 'I have to walk with great posture' is ok when you're not mentally or physically drained, it gets hard after a few hours. Another thing is talking to Laura for upwards of 5 hours. I'm a chatterbox and I'm a nightmare to shut up, but we've been walking now for 7 weeks, at least three times a week and for 2 hours at a time. We see each other a lot. Therefore we're running out of conversation. Who'd a thunk that talking is something I'd struggle with. When we don't talk, it's much harder. Every step is a challenge.

This week we taper. Two short walks of 2 miles. And carb loading. I love carbs, this makes me so happy! :D